From November, 2018
Today I was looking at some paperwhites bulbs that I had planted a few weeks ago for some winter cheer, and thinking about coming home from the recent Tao 5-9 Spiritual retreat with Master Sha in Canada. A little lightbulb went on about how I might help others with the transitioning back into the outer world frequencies, which can be a jolt.
Retreat with Master Sha is entering an extreme environment of energy, frequency and light, and company with marvelous beings of advanced spiritual abilities, seen and unseen. Just being in the room with Master Sha is the hugest blessing. It is being with old friends and making new, adjusting to very odd hours, food, roommates and physical challenges and discomforts. It can involve some financial stresses as well. It is learning at a very accelerated pace; spiritual wisdom, texts, disciplines and practices. It is experiencing testing and purification at a whole new level. Coming out of this atmosphere of love and challenge can be very dislocating. I've been to many retreats and pretty much know what to expect, but it is sometimes not an easy ride.
My experience this time was a good deal of physical body testing at the retreat, and now that I am "out", I am seeing some old patterns of self-doubt, inadequacy and blockages to practice and service trying to emerge. I think one key is to simply observe these, let them flow through, and remember what we have been blessed to receive. It is important to utilize these new lessons and gifts immediately so they can powerfully replace these old habits of thought and action.
Back to the bulbs. Flower bulbs are such a miracle! Embodied in those little humble brown lumps is the great joy of flowers. Eckhart Tolle says that flowers are messengers directly from God, and I believe it.
I once had a great spiritual awakening just looking at a pansy with it's face turned to the rising sun. Bulbs need dark and cool to get ready, then good soil, warmth, nourishment and light to start their process. I don't imagine that they ask questions or have much angst about it, they just do it. Then the great show of color and beauty and joy! Flowers sing too, did you know that? Just listen. Daisies are very loud.
We are like bulbs. We spend time in the dark, sometimes a lot of time. But if we are studying and practicing well, we will bloom, just as surely as this hyacinth above.
Be kind to yourself. Patient. Nurturing. Take a hot bubble bath, kiss your significant other, above all kiss the dog. Drink a glass of wine. Eat something wonderful. Stop thinking. Take a nap. Tomorrow will come along just fine, and you have such great gifts to serve. Heaven loves us, Master Sha loves us,
our soul family loves us. Love yourself. It must start there.
I love you.